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casual-dating

The art of casual dating is something that takes a courageous heart and some serious commitment to what it is you are (or aren’t really) committing to. The dictionary classifies it as a relationship where two people have a friendship where they will casually have sex or near sexual encounters without the expectation of any commitment afterwards.

This could be a once off event or continue for and extensive period of time.

How and why people commit to these relationships vary greatly depending on the situation however. Some people choose to have exclusivity in these relationships while others use these relationships as a stepping stone. The best known term for these relationships is “no strings attached” encounters.

However a few rules or guidelines need to be followed if you plan to venture into these uncharted waters.

The rules of engagement

  1. Respect the time idea that “friends with benefits” relationships all have expiration dates.

Before you enter into a casual dating scenario you need to accept the fact that it cannot and will not last forever.  One day one or both of you will want more from the relationship – which means that it’s no longer casual dating – or will want something altogether different – in which case the relationship ends.

You have to also acknowledge the fact that the probability of the two of you staying friends after the relationship has ended is relatively low.

  1. Expect to give and take some emotional attachment at some point.

Although it may not be a real life relationship in essence, you still have to respect the other person’s feeling and lifestyle. The fact that you are in a no strings attached relationship only entails that you have no obligations towards their family parties and other stuff that drive some couples insane.

You have to know that just because you have a friend with benefits, you can’t always expect them to be ready for action when you demand it. Respect them as a human being. It should be a friendly and fun relationship, not one where you get to treat the other person like a blow up doll or worse, you get treated like just another object.

No one said you should come bearing gifts, but show a little emotion. 

  1. Respect the freedom of choice and flexibility clause in the friends with benefits deal.

Being in a casual relationship means you don’t have to deal with the hassle of a full time commitment to a boyfriend or girlfriend. There’s no expectation of you having to attend certain family events or help with household chores, and when you don’t feel like going out or performing in the bedroom, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

This means that you should also allow the other person to have his or her own freedom without expecting explanations if they have other plans. It by no means gives either party the right to act rude or cold, but rather gives you ample breathing space and gives you freedom of choice.

  1. Keep things friendly, and show a little respect.

Remember that casual dating entails that you are friends for all other purposes and explanations who happen to have some fun together when the time is right.

You don’t get to treat the other person like a dog or just break communication with them when you don’t feel like getting together; you should always aim to maintain at least the friendship you share with them. Your friend with benefits shouldn’t be treated like a booty call and common courtesy should always be practiced.

  1. Know about and stay informed about the other person’s (intimate) status.

If you are engaging in a no strings attached relationship and want to avoid the outbreak of some serious STI’s then you have to be able to disclose your own and get the information about the other person’s sexual health status. Sharing is caring, but not in every sense of the word. You don’t want to pick up someone else’s diseases and if the relationship involves more than just 2 people, things are bound to get messy.

Keeping your heart (and vitals) happy and safe during casual dating can prove to be a daunting task, but this “Band-Aid” relationship can work out great for people who have commitment issues, are too busy with work or studies to commit to full time relationships or those who simply don’t want to get involved in relationships that will become too serious.

It’s essential to remember that every relationship will have its own rules and should be approached differently each time. The most important rule of engagement for these relationships however remains: this will be a returning customer, not just a quick booty call. Treat the situation and each other with respect and above all, keep things friendly to ensure you both get the best out of the deal.

 
 

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